Never Say Goodbye
by I-luv-passions
Summary: Everyday is a war where Kay Bennett is living, St. Anne's psychiatric hospital. Will a chance encounter with an unlikely friend help pull her through? Complete
1. Chapter 1

Author's Notes_: I've had this idea in my head for a long time now, so I really wanted to get it written before my enthusiasm left me. The story takes place before Kay and Fox ever met. Fox still believes that the baby Whitney gave up for adoption is his and not Chad's. _

_Please, please review and let me know what you think. This story will be finished, and not left hanging like most (okay, pretty much all) of my other ones. The second chapter is almost complete and should be posted soon. But I will take any feedback and constructive criticism you guys give me. _

* * *

"It won't be as long this time you know. I'm sure of it." 

Kay refused to respond to Tabitha's attempt at conversation. Her eyes drifted out the window next to her instead, and she twirled a stray lock of her long brown hair between her fingers unconsciously. Tiny specks scurried about below, but she was so high up that she couldn't actually make any of them out to be people. The view was nothing short of tedious, and watching the specks move back and forth was beginning to make her grow tired.

It was also getting hard to breathe. The stench of mold and time crashed upon her without mercy, and she wondered if it had always smelled this bad here. The ticking clock on the opposite wall was the only noise she heard, and she stifled a bitter laugh as she pictured herself literally cutting the tension with a knife.

She wished she could be angry. God, she wished she could feel almost anything besides the overwhelming sadness and dread at what she knew was coming. There was no way to escape it however, and it was against her will that she allowed herself to steal a glance at the witch sitting beside her. Tabitha was the one who had insisted they come. The reasons were obvious of course, but Kay had come to the stubborn conclusion that there had to be another way- a better way- than this. She was a danger to everyone around her (as well as herself) and if she didn't get help soon, then it was anyone's guess as to what might happen next. At least, that's what Tabitha had told her family anyway.

The truth was that Kay's powers were beginning to awaken.

Yes, once upon a time she had asked this witch to help her tame her gifts and learn to use them. But never in her wildest dreams did she imagine that things would turn out this way. Violent. Bloody. Scarring. A chill ran through her as she remembered some of the things she had said and done. It had been as though she was knocked unconscious, hearing and seeing everything she was doing, but completely helpless to stop herself. There was no way to describe how she felt when she had learned later on of what had transpired.

She turned back toward the window, shivering slightly as a draft of cold autumn air slipped in through the cracks around the frame. The specks were continuing their movement beneath her, and she felt her longing to join them almost unbearable. Her forehead pressed against the glass. She shouldn't be here. There really wasn't a need for all this drama. After all, she was living with a fully-fledged witch, was she not? Her burning feelings of contempt only increased as the psychiatric consultant entered the room and began reviewing her chart. This was ridiculous. Surely there had to be some other way, something more suitable for her special needs? _Some kind of witch hospital perhaps? _she thought madly. _Or some kind of spell from one of Tabitha's books? Anything but being here again. I don't think I'll be able to stand it- not again, not this time._

"You've been a patient here before, I see."

"Yes," she responded, not bothering to turn around and face him.

"Your parents admitted you when you were twelve."

She said nothing.

"Multiple self inflicted wounds to both wrists," he read aloud. "You were recommended to us through your family doctor, is that correct?"

"Mmm," was all she managed, her finger continuing to wrap itself painfully tight around her hair. She watched out of the corner of her eye as the consultant shared a worried glance with Tabitha.

"Do you know why you're here Ms. Bennett?"

A slight pause. "Yes."

"And do you understand that this process is necessary to help you on your road to recovery?"

"Yes."

There it was again; that _damn _glance. Kay felt a sudden stab of annoyance toward Tabitha, though it was gone before she could begin to decipher it. She twisted around then, the soft material of her cotton sweatpants sliding slightly against the cool hard plastic of the chair. "I've talked it over with a few other doctors here at St. Anne's," he began, and Kay's heart started to pound wildly at what she knew was coming, "and we've decided that in light of recent events, it might be best for you to spend some more time with us."

A cold wave of despair fell over her as she felt a lump of sobs begin to tighten in her throat. Her gaze shifted instinctively toward the white floor, though she noted that it was covered with so much dirt that it might possibly be considered more of a speckled gray than anything else. No one said anything for a few moments until Tabitha broke the silence.

"What exactly does that mean? How long will she have to stay?"

"It all depends on how well she does, naturally. Realistically, it might be as long as a month, maybe more."

A month. Maybe more. She turned the idea over in her head a few times before it finally began to sink in, and she could no longer hold in her sobs, or her angry protests.

"I don't want to stay here," she said desperately, "please don't make me! Tabitha please!" She felt the old witch put her arm around her in what was, undoubtedly, supposed to be a soothing gesture. Instead it just fueled her anger, and she stood up hastily, pushing the old woman away.

"Kay-"

"No, you _can't _make me stay here. I won't! You don't know what it was like last time! There has to be another way, _please_," she begged, sobs racking her thin frame until she finally collapsed onto the floor in front of the witch. She grasped desperately at her shoulders, trying to shake some sense into her. "We can find a spell or something, right? That would work better, you know it would Tabitha! Please don't _do _this to me!" She wasn't sure how long she had screamed and pleaded before two orderlies were forced to restrain her.

"Control yourself Ms. Bennett," the doctor told her sternly. "You're only further proving my point of why you need to be here. Now either calm down, or we'll be forced to sedate you."

"Fuck you," she snapped viciously as the two large men in white uniforms carried her into the hall. "How could you do this to me Tabitha? You know this isn't right!"

"I'm sorry Kay. I really truly am." And for the first time in a long time, Kay found herself actually looking at Tabitha. The old woman seemed to be at the end of her rope, and Kay got the impression that she really did feel sorry for her. But that didn't justify what she did, and pity wasn't going to make it any better. Ignoring the strong force that had wrapped itself around her arms, she looked through her tears and past her hurt to address the woman standing before her. She realized much later on that this was probably one of the only sane moments she was to have for quite some time.

"I hate you Tabitha Lenox, and I will never forgive you for this." She spoke clearly and precisely, knowing that each and every word she said now would have consequences later on. "Give Maria to my father as soon as you get home, and never, _ever _see her again. Tell him to remove my things from your house, and do not have any contact with my family again. I don't want my daughter growing up near a fucking nasty _witch _like you," she spat, emphasizing her words to inflict the most pain possible.

And she knew it had worked when she saw Tabitha's face stiffen, a perfect mask of indifference placed upon it. "As you wish," was all she said before turning around and disappearing down the hall.

She awoke many hours later to find herself lying on a small twin size bed with white cotton sheets and a thin blanket of the same color. Her eyes darted around the room frantically until she remembered all that had happened, and where she was. The orderlies must have sedated her just as the doctor had said they would, and now she was alone, trapped inside this damned institute once again.

A standard issue hospital gown was lying across the chair on the opposite side of the room. She managed to get it on without any real trouble, though she made sure to keep her sweats and tank top on underneath. _No mirrors, _she thought dryly as she gazed around the room. It was small, barely big enough for more than three people at a time she guessed. Her bed was pressed against the far wall, a tiny window up and to the right of it the only source of light in the room. A small table stood underneath, cleared of all the usual items that one might have found there; a clock, a lamp, a brush, anything she might have found useful at some point.

_But this is St. Anne's Hospital for the Mentally Ill, _she reminded herself bitterly. _You already know what it's like here. Don't be surprised that they're not treating you any different just because you're older now._

A slight tug at the door handle revealed that she was locked inside, unable to come and go as she pleased until the proper approval was obtained. This did not surprise her, and she made her way back onto the bed, trying to get a better look outside. The window was very high however, and she nearly lost her balance trying to press her face against the glass. After her fourth futile attempt, she gave up angrily and flopped onto her stomach, pulling the thin blanket tightly around herself. Memories of the last time she was here flooded through her brain, and she found it difficult to think of anything else, no matter how hard she tried.

Perhaps this was just the way it was meant to be. As much as she doubted the idea that she would find any real help here, a nagging feeling of something she couldn't name was beginning to tug at her relentlessly. She had already known the horrors that this place withheld, and yet she had allowed herself to be dragged down here with hardly any resistance at all. She struggled desperately to attach a name to whatever it was she was feeling. Guilt, perhaps? The need to be punished? She wasn't sure. All she knew was that she didn't like it, whatever it was. But it wouldn't do to dwell on the matter, and so, she decided that she wouldn't. She wouldn't think on any of it, no matter how much it pressed her. Instead, she would think of nothing. That was the only way she had made it through her first visit in one piece, and she'd be damned if she let this place claim her now.

An uneasy sleep was beginning to take hold of her, and she welcomed its sweet release from reality. This was to become her best friend while she was here, she knew. Her dreams were the only thing that kept her sane, helping her to escape this prison without the worry of being caught. A sweet smile curved her lips as she drifted away to a different place, her thoughts fading completely in a matter of seconds.

* * *

The first few days of confinement were difficult to say the least. The absence of a clock made it hard to tell the time, though Kay had managed to invent her own method of time-keeping by watching the spot of sun from her window make its way across the room. Minute by minute, hour by hour, the days seemed to pass by even slower than she had anticipated. On her fourth morning in the small room to which she now referred to as 'The Hole', a tiny nurse had waddled through the door bearing a single piece of folded paper. She placed the note gently on the empty dresser and turned to look at Kay. 

"Well? Aren't you going to open it?" She gestured repeatedly to the dresser with much enthusiasm, but faltered and gave up soon after when she saw that Kay had not so much as moved a muscle. With her eyebrows knit and her thin lips pursed tightly together, she snatched away the paper and hastily shoved it into her pocket. "All right, fine. If you don't want to read it then you'll never know what you're missing."

And with that, she turned around and left the room.

* * *

A week had now gone by since Tabitha's betrayal, and still Kay had not been able to leave The Hole. She adjusted her mental clock to coincide with meal times, and had invented a slightly amusing game called _Pick The Paint. _It was very clever, highly challenging and much more fun that being out with her friends or spending time with Maria. Or at least that's what she tried to make herself believe. In reality, _Pick The Paint _was no better than _Unthread The Blanket _or _Try And See Through The Window, _and no matter how hard she tried, she reasoned that it was just impossible for a person to sleep more than twenty one hours a day. 

Each day that passed felt more like a century, and she had just lost track of how long she had been there when the door to her room came crashing open. A large man in his twenties, accompanied by the nurse who had visited her some days earlier had entered the room and made their way next to her. Kay felt herself being pulled up by the orderly, and she stood motionless as the scrutinizing gaze of the tiny nurse observed her state from head to foot.

"It's been exactly one week now since you've joined us," she began, pacing slowly back and forth from one end of the small space to the other. "Or _re_joined, I should say. I offered you a chance at freedom- a chance you steadfastly refused. Well now, don't look so shocked, I'm sure it didn't take you that long to realize what was on that paper." And even as she spoke, she drew the folded white parchment from her pocket and placed it once again on the empty dresser top. "Open it."

Now Kay Bennett had been called a lot of things in her lifetime, but stupid was never one of them. She had, on occasion, been known to allow her stubbornness to overrule her better judgment (though she challenged anyone to say it to her face). However this, no matter how much she wanted to fight it, was thankfully not one of those times. Quickly she wrenched her arm free of the orderly's grip and opened the paper to examine its contents.

A quick scan revealed that it was an official grant from the hospital director for her to leave her room and socialize with other 'guests' as they had been called. She rolled her eyes. _More like prisoners._

"Like what you see, do you?" the nurse said quietly.

"Yes."

A sneer planted itself on the nurse's face, twisting her features in a way that made her look very unpleasant. Kay had little doubt that the woman had become easily seduced by the power of her position. "Good. Starting tomorrow morning, you will be allowed to enter the game room on supervised visits. You will have one hour to do as you please. If you behave, which I hope you will, then you will be granted more luxuries as time goes by. If not, then you will remain here in your room when you are not with Dr. Adams."

Dr. Adams was one of the hospital's newest psychiatrists, assigned to evaluate the progress of returning patients. He was a very quiet man, often cold and distant, and Kay found it very hard to open up to him during their sessions. Besides, what was she supposed to say- _"The real trouble here Doc, is that I got some bad blood in me. Witch blood, you see, and it's just wreaking all sorts of havoc on the people around me, not to mention my hormones. What should I do?" _

"…will be no physical contact, horseplay of any kind, and absolutely, positively _no _foul language," the nurse's voice drew her back to the present situation. "Is that clear?"

Kay glanced quickly at the orderly behind her, still aware of his watchful gaze on her back. "Yes, I understand."

The nurse nodded, all traces of her earlier cheerfulness visibly eliminated from her appearance. She gave a curt nod of approval before beckoning the orderly to follow her out of the room. Kay looked down at the paper in her hand, her precious ticket to one hour of freedom each day, and smiled as she carefully tucked it underneath her pillow.

* * *

It was early the next morning that Kay felt herself awakened (rather rudely, she thought) by the nurse who had come to visit her the day before. 

"It's time to get up Ms. Bennett."

"Mphhhh…."

"It's time to get up and go to the game room- unless of course you'd rather stay here and spend another day cooped up like a caged animal."

Kay rolled over to face the stern looking woman. "Whyzoearly," she mumbled, rubbing her eyes sleepily.

"Because I said so that's why. Now get a move on if you're going to come, otherwise I'm going to walk out of this room and lock the door behind me, and I _won't _be coming back."

"All right, all right, I'm coming," she grumbled angrily. "Do you mind?"

The nurse raised her eyebrow inquisitively. "Mind?"

"I'd like to get dressed please. I'd like to wash my face and fix my hair if its not too much trouble."

"There's no time for that you silly girl, you've only got one hour! Besides, who are you trying to impress? I can assure you that no one you'll meet today will give a rat's behind what you look like. Now either follow me please, or stay here by yourself."

Kay felt her anger boil to the surface, and she fought against the growing stubbornness that was threatening her only chance of escape. Her pride was screaming at her to stay, to show the nurse that she didn't need her pathetic charity, that she was just fine right where she was thank you very much. But her common sense was beginning to win the war. An hour of freedom was an hour of freedom, and if it meant that she had to suck it up and play the good girl role, then she was going to do it.

Obediently she left her bed and followed the nurse down the empty hallway towards the game room. She cringed as her bare feet made contact with the frozen floor, wishing desperately that she had remembered to put on the pair of slippers that were now tucked safely underneath her bed. A glance outside one of the passing windows revealed that the sun had not yet risen, and that a thick grey fog had settled itself over early morning Harmony.

When they finally reached their destination, Kay was surprised by the number of people already there. This room was nothing like the one she remembered, but a large shiny plaque on the wall above the nurse's station quickly answered any questions she might have had. _The Tobias Crane Wing, _she read to herself and everything clicked into place immediately.

She tugged at her hospital gown self-consciously as the nurse left her to do whatever she pleased. There must have been at least a dozen other people there with her, but she suddenly felt her need to socialize vanish. Grabbing the first magazine she could find, Kay quickly scurried over to the far side of the room, hiding herself from view in a small chair situated behind a large bulky man.

The issue of _Vogue _that she held in her hands may have been over two years old, but the excitement of having something to read did not escape her. She was quickly lost inside, the fact that shorter skirts were making a comeback the only important topic on her mind. That's when she felt it. She wasn't sure how she knew, or why she knew, and when she thought back on this moment in later years, she could never understand why she did what she did.

The tiny hairs on the back of her neck stood up as a slight chill caused her to shiver. Slowly she twisted her head around, her gaze just above the shoulder of the man behind her, scanning the room for the cause of her sudden uneasiness. A ton of bricks falling on her head could not have prepared her for the shock she felt as her gaze locked instinctively with a pair of mercury grey eyes that were staring at her from the other end of the room.

She spun around. Was that… but no, it couldn't be… could it? She twisted around once more to make sure that she wasn't dreaming. When her eyes once again fell upon the silver pools of intrigue looking in her direction, she knew that it was no dream. Her heart began to hammer as she fumbled with the magazine, trying to find the last line she had read and desperately trying to ignore the sound of footsteps coming in her direction. She kept her gaze firmly glued to the article, even as she heard him take the only empty seat directly across from her.

_Wear them with boots and a sixties style coat to complete the look…_

"Hello."

_Wear them with boots and a sixties style coat to complete the look…_

"Hello there."

_Wear them with boots and a sixties style coat to complete the look…_

"Hey, are you deaf or something? I'm talking to you."

Kay glanced up and swallowed nervously as she finally forced herself to acknowledge his presence. "Oh, hi… I was just reading this magazine. It is _Vogue_," she said stupidly.

He tilted his head to the side, seemingly bemused by her behaviour. "I see," he said. "Funny enough, I was actually on a first name basis with the editor of _Vogue_ awhile back. Nice woman… very clingy. Anyway, we ended up going our separate ways. I think she works for a newspaper now."

Kay nodded slowly as she took in his appearance. He wore expensive looking green silk pajamas underneath a large green bathrobe. Even in a place like this he managed to maintain his style and grace, and she was aware that his slippers were probably worth more than her entire wardrobe put together. She was also painfully aware that she was stuck inside a standard cotton hospital gown with nothing below it but for her underwear. Inwardly she cursed the stupid nurse who'd force her to remove the clothes she came in. Quickly she ran a hand through her hair in a desperate attempt to look decent.

"So…" he trailed off. "You're Kay Bennett right? My mother was living at your old house for awhile."

Kay scoffed. "Don't remind me," she blurted out, immediately wishing she could take it back. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"No, it's all right. I know how my mother can be sometimes."

_You don't know the half of it, _she thought bitterly. "Well, if it makes you feel any better, my mother wasn't exactly the saint everyone made her out to be."

"Yeah, I heard. She left your Dad to be with that David Hastings guy?"

"Yup. She just up and left us to go travel around Europe without a care in the world. Meanwhile we're all stuck at home wondering where to go from here."

"You sound kind of bitter."

"Is it that obvious?"

He smiled. "So is that why you're here, in this place? Because of your Mom leaving town?"

Kay shook her head and glanced back toward the magazine in her lap. "No. I don't want to talk about it."

There was a short moment when she thought she'd offended him with her sudden bluntness, but that thought passed as soon he began to talk again. "Looks like rain," he noted absently as he stared out a nearby window. Kay glanced outside to find a surprisingly beautiful view of the ocean, a dark ominous cloud making its way quickly toward them.

"What are you doing here in a place like this?" she asked him quietly, and for the second time in a matter of minutes she wished she had kept her big mouth shut. He continued to stare out the large glass window for a moment before turning to look at her.

"My father thought it best I spend some time here. He didn't want me leaving Harmony, so St. Anne's was the only logical choice."

"Oh," she said. "I see."

He shook his head, suddenly angry. "No you don't, you don't see anything. I, unlike every other fucked up person in this room, don't belong here. I'm not some crazy nutjob who needs to be baby sat every god damn minute of every god damn day just because I can't stand to be in the same room as my sick, incest loving half brother. Chad can do no wrong in my father's eyes, whereas I, his firstborn son, deserve to be thrown into a mental institution because I can't seem to control myself around him. Is that so wrong? Is it so wrong that I don't agree with Whitney giving my son up for adoption without my knowledge? Is it so wrong that I might have a problem with that freak Chad adopting him?"

Kay sat, dumbstruck by Fox Crane's sudden outburst of emotion.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, placing his hands over his face and shaking his head. "I didn't mean to blow up like that. I didn't mean to imply that you need to be here either. I mean, not that I know if you do or not, because you won't tell me, but… I don't know. Maybe I'll just shut up and spare you from listening to my ramblings."

He made to get up, but was stopped when Kay grabbed his wrist and gently pulled him back into the chair. Quickly she removed her hand, suddenly embarrassed by the fact that she'd touched him.

"No, it's okay, really. I don't mind listening to you. It helps me get my mind off of my own problems."

He stared at her for a moment, seemingly trying to decide whether she was being genuine or not, and Kay once again found herself lost in the grey depths of his eyes. Before today she hadn't even known it was possible to have eyes that colour. She compared them to the storm making its way across the sea at that very moment, and she found herself hoping that it passed by very quickly- for his sake.

"Well, it seems you're one up on me now Bennett," he smirked. "You know why I'm here, so I'd say it's only reasonable that now you tell me why you got shipped off to this Hell Hole."

She shook her head stubbornly. "I told you, I don't want to talk about it."

"Come on-"

"No. And don't ask again because I'm not going to tell you."

A pause.

"We'll see. Give it time. I'll get the truth out of you sooner or later."

Kay looked up at the clock on the wall. She had less than half an hour left before she had to return to The Hole, and she didn't intend on spending it with someone who was going to pester her the whole time.

"Leave me alone," she said angrily. "I'm trying to read."

* * *

Kay's next few visits to the game room were not nearly as relaxing as she'd hoped. She spent the majority of the time trying to hide herself from Fox's relentless gaze, praying that he would just leave her alone to read in peace. And he did, for a time. But it wasn't long until his patience had worn thin, and she once again found herself staring into those mesmerizing mercury pools. 

"This is silly," he said.

Kay looked up from her magazine. "I'm sorry?"

"I said, this is silly. This whole 'us not talking to each other' thing. We should be taking advantage of the fact that we've each got a friend in here."

"I have a friend in here? Where?" She sat straight up and looked around, clearly mocking his attempt to reach out to her.

"I meant _me._"

She slouched back down until she found a comfortable position. "Oh. How can you be my friend if I've never even met you before?"

"Because I know who you are, you know who I am- we're practically family. Our parents dated, I lived in your old house-"

"Not to mention the fact that I know why you're in this place. I've got something on you, Fox Crane, and it must be eating you up inside." A smug smile crept across her face, but quickly faded when she saw how serious he'd become. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be joking about that."

He shook his head. "It's all right. I just thought that us hanging out together might make life in this place a little easier to cope with."

Kay sighed. To be completely honest, the idea of spending time with Fox was a great deal more appealing then anything else she could think of to keep busy. "You're right. I didn't mean to seem so snobbish. I'd like it if we could… you know, hang out… and stuff."

Fox smiled. "That's exactly what I wanted to hear. So how long do you have before they ship you back off to your room?"

"Well, Dr. Adams told the nurses that I can come and go whenever I please now, just as long as I'm back in my room before dinner." She glanced at the clock, which read one thirty. "I'd say I've got about four hours. What about you? How long do you have?"

Fox cocked an eyebrow as if offended. "Do you really think my father would allow these so called 'professionals' to keep me locked up all day?"

"No, I suppose not," she admitted. "So what do you want to do?"

"Chess?" he asked.

"I don't know how to play."

"Chess it is then," he smirked as he pulled a small wooden table between their chairs and began to set up the board.

They spent the entire remainder of Kay's free time that day playing chess. It didn't take long for her to understand the basics of the game, though she doubted she'd ever be a match for Fox. He'd clearly been playing since he was a child, and every strategy she came up with was quickly foiled by his years of skill and experience. When the clock reached quarter to six, Kay pushed her chair back and stood up to stretch her legs.

"Good game Bennett. You're not so bad for a beginner."

She smiled. "Thank you. Who knows, maybe one of these days I'll even be good enough to beat you."

Fox let out a long laugh that probably should have made her angry. Instead she fought hard to suppress the growing fit of giggles that was beginning to form in her throat. "Well now, let's not get too carried away here. You're good, Bennett, but you're not _that _good."

Kay returned to The Hole shortly after her game with Fox had ended. She closed the door behind her and sat down on her bed to think. Fox was definitely right. Just spending time with him for one day had already given her the morale boost she so desperately needed. She couldn't wait to see him again tomorrow.

* * *

When she entered the game room the next morning, Kay was pleased to see that Fox was waiting for her with the chessboard already set up. She took the seat across from him, and they began to chat as the game commenced. She learned a lot about him during the next week, as they spent almost all of her free time playing various games with each other. 

Fox had confided in her the way he felt about his family and the resulting situation that led him to be where he was. In return Kay had told him about her own family, and how much it actually hurt her to know that her own mother had loved her cousin more than her. They offered each other advice, and often made light of the fact that their horrible home lives had driven them to a stay in a mental hospital. Kay was more grateful for Fox's presence than he would probably ever know. Without him there, this place would most likely have driven her insane long before now.

The one thing they never spoke of, however, was the reason that Kay was there. No matter how hard Fox pressured her to reveal her secret, she never would. Eventually he gave up and left the subject alone; something that Kay was very thankful for. She felt the protective walls inside her begin to crumble whenever he was around, and she wasn't sure how much longer she could hold the truth inside. The memories of what she did continued to haunt her, but no matter how much she longed to confess the truth to Fox, she knew she couldn't. She feared his rejection too greatly to ever let him know why Tabitha and everyone else thought she needed mental help.

"Why do you do that?" he asked her one day.

"Do what," she mumbled, her eyes focused on the board in front of her. Fox wasn't even paying attention. She moved her bishop to within striking distance of his king.

"That thing you're doing with your hair. Wrapping it around your finger like that. Why do you do it?"

Kay glanced up to find Fox studying her intensely. She hadn't even realized what she'd been doing. "I don't know," she shrugged. "Habit I guess." She shifted her eyes back to the game where Fox had taken her bishop out with one move from his queen. She frowned. Where did that come from?

"You get distracted too easily," he told her. "You didn't see that coming from a mile away and yet it was right there in front of your face."

Kay bit her tongue so as not to blurt out the sarcastic remark that was struggling to escape. "Thanks for the tip," she said instead, returning her focus to the game. There had to be some way to win this. She was tired of losing, and wouldn't give up until she put Fox in his place. He wasn't as good as he thought, and she was going to prove it to him no matter how long it took.

He sat back in his chair and let out a frustrated sigh. "I'm sick of these games. We've played them all a million times and I have no desire to continue. Isn't there anything else to do around this place?"

That caught her attention. "What do you mean?"

"What do you mean, 'what do I mean?'" he snapped. "I mean I want something else to do. I'm sick of sitting here all day, everyday. If we keep this up, I think I'm going to go crazy."

Both Kay and Fox paused as they thought about what he'd just said. Then they burst out laughing.

"You're right," Kay said through her giggles, "this is beginning to get a bit dull. But what can we do about it? They don't exactly give us a lot of options to choose from."

Fox paused, clearly rummaging around his brain for a useful idea. "I think I have a remedy to our problem," he said.

"Really?"

He leaned over the table and motioned for her to do the same. Kay flushed as she realized that their faces were now mere inches apart. She tried hard to ignore the fact that she could feel Fox's warm breath on the side of her cheek.

"Do you really want to do something exciting?" he whispered.

His mercury eyes searched her face intently as she felt her heart begin to hammer in her chest. "Yes," she breathed.

"I mean it Kay, do you really want to have some fun? This could get us into a lot of trouble."

She took a deep breath. "God yes."

He smiled. "I knew you would. Be ready at midnight. I'll meet you outside your room."

"But I don't have a key. The nurse locks my room after six."

"You just leave that to me," said Fox. "Get ready for a night you'll never forget."

* * *

Kay let out a frustrated sigh as she paced the length of her tiny room over and over again. She'd lost track of time well over an hour ago, but the amount of moonlight falling across her floor clearly told her that midnight had long since passed. Where was Fox? Had he forgotten about her? She sat down on the edge of her bed and tapped her foot lightly against the floor. 

_This is a stupid idea, _she reprimanded herself. There was no telling what kind of repercussions she and Fox would have to face if they were caught out of their rooms this late at night. She felt herself cringe at the prospect of being stuck inside The Hole for another few weeks. And just the mere thought of not being able to see Fox… well, that was enough to twist her insides into a knot she'd rather not think about. For some reason she couldn't fathom, the idea of not being able to talk to him was very painful. More painful than she'd care to understand.

The door to her room clicked open. Kay glanced up just in time to see Fox rush inside carrying a large bundle in his arms.

"What on Earth?"

She watched in amazement as he threw off the long white doctor's coat he'd been wearing and replaced it with a very heavy looking sweater. Once he had it on he looked over at Kay and handed her a very similar looking sweater.

"Don't ask," he smiled and he shook his head. "You'll need to put that on, as well as your slippers. I'm afraid it's a bit chilly out this time of night."

"What took you so long?" Kay's voice was muffled through the sweater as she quickly pulled it over her head. "What time is it? Why were you wearing that coat? And did you say we were going outside?"

Fox narrowed his eyebrows and placed his index finger against his lips. "Shhhh," he whispered sternly. "Are you trying to get us caught? Don't worry about all that stuff right now, I'll explain it to you once we're out of here. Now just follow my lead, and for God's sake be quiet about it."

Kay watched as he poked his head out into the hall. Once he was certain that they were alone, he motioned for her to follow him. She did as she was told, and gratefully took his offered hand as they headed down the hallway. Her heart hammering in her chest, Kay tried to recall the last time she'd ever felt so alive. Adrenaline coursed through her body as Fox led her past a very tired and lazy looking security guard. Without a word, he led her into an empty room and shut the door behind them.

Before she could ask what he thought he was doing leading her into an abandoned room, his hand shot out and covered her mouth. He shook his head and again motioned for her not to make a sound. Completely bewildered as to what the hell was going on, Kay nodded and watched in amazement as Fox led her in front of an empty bookcase.

He dropped her hand to lift something from the shelf, and in spite of herself Kay couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.

"Watch," she heard his voice, barely audible in the darkened room. He lifted something from the shelf. Nothing happened. She saw his frown, and again wondered what kind of mess she'd gotten herself into.

"Watch," he whispered again, and this time she saw that his frown had turned into a full grown smirk. She couldn't help but stare as he ran his fingers along the edge of the old wood. My but he did look handsome when he was being mysterious. And had his shoulders always been that broad? Kay swallowed.

_Get a grip, _she told herself. _You look like crap. Like he'd even be talking to you if you weren't the only person he knew in here._

The sound of wood scraping the floor pulled her out of her thoughts, and she watched in amazement as Fox pushed the bookshelf to the side with ease. Behind it ran a small, winding length of stairs. She followed him to the bottom and out into what looked like some kind of court yard she'd never seen before.

"What is this place?" she asked.

"Not yet," was his only reply as he grabbed her hand and forced her to follow him down a path obscured by tree branches and roots that stuck up from the dirt. She wondered what part of the grounds they could possibly be in. A small part of her dared to believe that Fox had taken her to some sort of secret place that no one else knew about; somewhere they could be alone without the possibility of anyone else finding them.

But her logic told her better. They must have wandered past the confines of the hospital and onto a path that led somewhere beyond the walls. How they managed that, she had no idea. And frankly, she didn't care.

"We're almost there," he panted as they made their way down a steep hill. Kay followed him past the last tree and into a small clearing. She stopped short at the sight that greeted her. Fox had led her to a small lake, the likes of which she had never seen before. The musical sound of tiny waves splashing against the shore made her feel as though she were a thousand miles away from civilization.

"Fox, it's…."

"Beautiful?" he supplied.

She shook her head, still at a loss for words. Moonlight reflected on top of the water making it shine as though a million lights were lit beneath the surface. She closed her eyes and inhaled the sweet smell of fresh air; something she had sorely missed since her captivity began a few weeks ago. "I don't know what to say," she told him honestly. "This is all so… incredible. It's just what I needed. Thank you."

"Come on, I want to show you something." He smiled as he took her hand once more and led her next to a large tree only a few feet from the shore. "My father's great uncle was the one who built St. Anne's you know. He had a friend who suffered from some sort of mental illness, and apparently the thought of her being sent away from Harmony for treatment was too much for him to handle."

He led her around the tree to reveal a crudely shaped heart carved into the bark. His fingers traced the edges of the letters _T.S.C. _written inside.

"Tobias Crane," she whispered.

Fox gave her a curious stare. "Yes. How did you know?"

"From the plaque in the game room. I saw it when I first arrived. It's a new edition, isn't it?"

He nodded. "My grandfather had it added on a few years ago. He felt that the building could do with a few improvements. '_Anything that has the Crane name attached to it represents the Crane family and therefore must be kept in top form Nicholas,_'"he said, mimicking his grandfather's voice.

Kay laughed. "I think I can picture Alistair Crane saying something like that."

"Trust me, you don't want to know half the things that old man has said to me," he sighed as he flopped down on the grass and crossed his arms underneath his head. Kay followed suit, and they lay side by side staring at the sky above.

"How did you know about this place?" she asked him.

"I did a little research in the Crane library before I came here. It wasn't hard to find out considering the kinds of resources that place has."

Kay nodded, her mind suddenly envisioning a room with nothing but bookshelves built up to the very ceiling. "No, I don't suppose it would be."

"Do you read much?"

"Read? Well, I suppose when I find a book that captures my interest. I really have to be into it though, or else I'll stop about ten pages in."

Fox chuckled. "How I envy you Kay. You have no idea how many times I wanted to tear up the books I was forced to read as a child. Unfortunately my teacher would have none of it, so instead of playing outside with my friends, I was forced to read all of Dickens' most famous works by the time I was fourteen."

Kay propped herself up on her elbow to look down at him. "I can't imagine what that must have been like for you. But just think of everything you learned. Surely that must compensate-"

"I'd trade it all for a normal childhood in a heartbeat," he cut her off. "It's true, I've been very privileged to receive such an amazing education, but…"

"But what?"

"Do you know how lonely it was for me to be off at boarding school for all those years? To have spent only three Christmas's and one Thanksgiving with my family since I was eleven?"

Kay felt her heart ache for the things that Fox must have endured as a child. Memories of happy Christmas mornings flooded her mind, and she couldn't imagine growing up away from all of that. She watched as Fox rolled onto his side to face her. His troubled gaze met her own, and she fought down the urge to reach out and comfort him.

"Fox, I'm so sorry. All these years I pictured the Crane's as the perfect family. Money, servants, everything a person could ever ask for, you know?"

His gaze was unwavering as he studied her face with emotions she couldn't decipher.

"But I guess I was wrong," she continued. "I had no idea."

He said nothing as he continued to stare, his gaze flickering between her eyes and her mouth. Kay swallowed, suddenly aware of how close they were to one another. She felt her heart hammer in anticipation.

_Anticipation of what? _she wondered. _I love Miguel, so what could possibly-_

But her mind went blank as soon as Fox seized her lips with his own and pushed her body back onto the ground. Kay's head swam at the feel of him on top of her. The sweet sensation of his tongue exploring her mouth became almost too much to handle.

She moaned in pleasure as he moved his attention lower and began trailing kisses down her neck. There was heaven in his touch, and she could practically taste the passion coming from him.

He pulled away to look at her. "I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice ragged. "I don't know what came over me."

Kay swallowed, unsure of what to say. She didn't want him to be sorry, or to regret what had just happened between them. Truth be told, she wasn't entirely sure who had even wanted it more- him or her.

He ran his hands gently through her hair. "I've wanted to do that since the first time I saw you smile," he whispered. Chills shot through her, and her mind was screaming that this was wrong, that they could never be together because she loved Miguel and no one else.

But her mind, it seemed, had little control over her body and before she knew what she was doing, she pulled him in for another kiss. All her life she was convinced that Miguel was the one for her; the only boy she would ever love. But now, with Fox in her arms and the cool wind of early morning blowing through her hair, she wasn't quite so sure.

He moved his hands beneath her sweater to caress the tender flesh of her stomach. Kay closed her eyes to savor the sensation of his touch. She felt him tug the sweater above her head, leaving her in nothing but her bra. Her body involuntarily shivered as the freezing air stung her skin.

Fox trailed his kisses up her arm, pausing to examine the scars that remained on her wrists even to this day. He gave her a piercing look, one that she didn't quite understand until she realized what he'd seen.

_Oh God, _Kay thought frantically. _What must he think of me now? _

"Fox, it's-"

"Shhh," he said before seizing her mouth for another kiss. She felt his need to be with her, understood what he was feeling more than he would ever know. After all, she knew what it was like to be stuck in this awful place, where you were all alone with nothing but your thoughts to keep you company. The strength of emotions spinning inside her were becoming too much to handle, and just when she thought she would die from lack of oxygen, he pulled away to look at her. His fingers gently stroked the inside of her forearm, running over the jagged bumps and scars that had appeared so many years ago.

"It doesn't matter now. None of it does. My childhood… your childhood. It's all in the past. All that matters is the present. All that matters is right now."

Kay nodded, grateful for his understanding. All of that was behind them now, and if what she was feeling at this very moment was any indication of her future, then her life was definitely going to change for the better.

"I want you," he whispered, and Kay suddenly felt her entire body grow stiff. Surely Fox couldn't think that she would sleep with him now? Here? She quickly had the answer as she felt him push her legs apart with his muscular thigh.

_This is what you wanted, isn't it? _The tiny voice in the back of her mind had suddenly come to life. _You wanted him to like you, and he does, so what's the problem? You're no virgin- what are you scared of?_

Kay swallowed hard. It was true, she wasn't a virgin anymore- she'd slept with Miguel, and if she were being honest, she'd have to admit that she'd liked it very much. But she wasn't with Miguel right now. She was with someone else, someone she'd met only a few weeks ago, she reminded herself. They had no protection, no assurances that she wouldn't end up pregnant again. She cried out as a tree root dug into her back. This wasn't right. The timing, the place, everything about her current situation was wrong. She just wasn't ready.

Realization hit her like a ton of bricks as she thought about where she was. If he wanted her bad enough, then she would be his. There would be no way to fight him off, and there would be no one to hear her cries for help.

"Stop," she said as he trailed his hand down her leg.

He didn't seem to hear.

"_Stop," _she repeated, panic now evident in her voice. "Fox stop, I don't want to do this."

He grabbed her wrists and pinned them above her head, deaf to her pleas. "I want you Kay," he muttered again, and the look in his eyes told her that he was going to get what he wanted.

"_Stop!" _she screamed, struggling underneath him to free herself from his grip. How had he turned so quickly from kind and charming, to rough and terrifying? Her breathing became heavy and erratic, and she realized with dawning horror that tears had begun to slip down her cheeks. She struggled as best she could, but Fox's weight was just too much for her to overcome.

"Please," she begged, "Fox, stop it… _Stop it!"_

He froze, pulling his face quickly away from her collarbone where he'd been entranced by the softness of her skin. She watched as he took in her appearance, eyes wide with terror and a sudden understanding. He rolled off of her and quickly stood up.

Kay couldn't move. He body shivered as the air cut into her skin like a thousand knives all at once. Had it always been this cold out here? A shaky hand held the sweater she'd been wearing, and she snatched it away from him as quickly as possible, desperate to avoid any unnecessary contact. She sat up and slipped it over her head.

"Kay…"

"Don't," she said, her voice unusually high.

"I'm so sorry… I didn't mean-"

"I know," she cut him off, wiping her tear stained cheeks with the end of her sleeve. "It's all right. I understand."

Fox shook his head, the look of shock and disgust still etched across his features. "No, it's not all right. I can't believe… I didn't mean… I'm sorry…"

Kay rose slowly, amazed that she was able to stand on her wobbly legs. Fox took a step back, seemingly afraid that he would lose control again and do something they'd both regret. They stared at each other for a moment before Fox mumbled another incoherent apology and made a quick exit without saying goodbye. Not that she'd expected him to. She sank down on her knees, the effort of standing suddenly too much for her to handle.

* * *

By the time she'd made it back to The Hole undetected, the sun was almost up. She and Fox must have snuck outside long after midnight, even longer than she'd initially thought. A million thoughts assaulted her as she closed her eyes and tried for rest. 

She sighed, rolling onto her back to stare at the ceiling. She hated that Fox had left so abruptly, and she couldn't stand the thought of him being disgusted with himself because of her reaction. Had she overreacted? She couldn't seem to get the idea out of her brain. What would happen the next time they saw one another, or the next time they spoke? Would he hate her for turning him away, for making him feel so awful?

Kay groaned aloud, rubbing her eyes in anger as she realized that sleep would not come this night. She sat up and began to pace the length of her room.

As morning rolled around, Kay jumped at the first opportunity she had to visit the game room. Every morning for the past few weeks, Fox had always been there, waiting for her. She needed to talk to him him, needed to explain why she did what she did.

The thought struck her that most women in her position would not be seeking out the man who'd tried to force himself on her. She knew she should be angry. She knew she should want to avoid him, that she should be horrified with his actions, and that she should definitely not want to see him again.

Yet as she walked into the game room and saw that Fox was not present, she couldn't help but wonder why the only thing she felt was disappointment.

* * *

_Please review and let me know what you think!_ :) 


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Notes: _Thanks so much to those of you who reviewed the first chapter. Feedback of any kind is definitely a great method of encouragement and I appreciate it. That said, I hope you like the second part of the story. Please review and let me know what you think:)_

* * *

Fox Crane rolled onto his side, unable to rest. Although he had the biggest, most luxurious bed in the entire hospital, it came as little comfort to him in light of the recent events of two nights ago. He still couldn't believe… 

_No. Stop thinking about it. You're only making things worse._

But the fact was that things couldn't possibly be any worse then they were right now. So he had a king size bed, silk sheets, and a personal nurse to do his every bidding. None of it mattered. This place, this farce of a hospital as he thought of it, was driving him crazy. The only thing that had kept him sane this long was her. And now she was gone, scared off by his stupid uncontrollable lust. He couldn't handle it. He simply couldn't help himself. And now he was paying for it.

_But that's not you, _he told himself. He'd never forced a woman into doing anything she didn't want to. And when he thought about what he'd tried to do to Kay, his stomach clenched involuntarily, full of disgust and self loathing.

He was a bad person. He'd come to accept it. And that was why he needed to stay away from her. He couldn't take the chance of anything like that happening again. She was the one thing that kept him balanced, kept him in check, and now he'd lost her. How the hell was he going to survive in here now?

* * *

"What do you mean they said no?" Fox's angry voice carried through the doorway of his room and into the empty hall. 

"I'm sorry Mr. Crane, but the Hospital Director has absolutely forbidden any electronic devices of any kind. You knew the rules when you first came here."

Fox studied his nurse angrily, aware that a sudden tick had started in his jaw. The nurse did not seem intimidated by his behavior, however, and she continued to tidy his room without any regard to his hostility.

"Virginia, if I don't have a television in this room by five o'clock, then I'll-"

"Then you'll what?" she snapped, standing up to her full height, apparently trying to show him that she wasn't one to be bullied. Fox stared down at the tiny woman, trying to keep his temper in check.

"Then I will have you fired and homeless before you even realize what's happened."

Virginia laughed. "You'll do no such thing. Why have you been so moody lately? What's happened, hmm?"

"Nothing."

She shook her head impatiently. "Well _something _must have happened for you to start acting like this. You were perfectly agreeable a few days ago. Why don't you go spend some time in the game room? What happened to that girl you played chess with? I thought you two got along rather well."

"It's none of your god damn business, that's what," Fox growled through clenched teeth. He watched in amazement as the little woman just stood there, completely oblivious to the dangerous line she was walking.

"I see," was all she said.

"You see what?"

"Nothing."

"What do you mean nothing?"

She gave him a stern look. "Do you really want me to spell it out for you?"

"Please do," he said with a mock tone of enthusiasm, "I'm dying to know why you think I'm being such an ass."

"All right," she said, dropping the bedding she was folding. "Just remember you asked me to tell you."

Fox waited patiently as he watched her place her laundry to the side.

"It's that _girl. _The one you've been playing chess with. Something has obviously happened between the two of you, and now you're miserable because you're not spending any time with her. What was it, hmm? Did you have an argument? Because I think it's very silly to let one little fight get in the way of your friendship. I don't know the details of course, but I do know that you won't be happy until you make up with her. So what are you waiting for? Why aren't you out looking for her?"

Fox blinked, suddenly uneasy at how perceptive his nurse was. He'd have to be more careful around her.

"Well?" she asked. "Am I right?"

"Partly," he admitted, tired of keeping his emotions bottled up inside. All earlier demands and threats had suddenly evaporated from his mind. The only thing he could think about was Kay. "You don't understand," he went on. "It's not that I don't want to spend time with her, because I do. I don't have that right. Not anymore."

Virginia frowned, unable to think of how to respond. Before she had a chance to contemplate her answer, Fox stood up.

"I need a walk," he said, his voice distracted. "I'll be back later."

He left the room abruptly, no clear destination in mind. He couldn't go to the game room, or anywhere on the other side of the floor. _She _would be there. He couldn't take that risk. Before he knew where his feet were leading him, he found himself once again in the abandoned room that led to his secret lake. He turned around, unsure of how he'd managed to slip past the security guard without being seen.

Perhaps this was the best place to go.

His mind argued that it was a mistake, that he'd regret it if he were to get caught. It was still daylight outside, though the sun would be setting anytime now. He took a deep breath as he pushed the bookcase aside and made his descent down the narrow staircase.

Orange rays of heat blinded him as he emerged from the thick wall of trees and into view of the lake. He spied the tree that he had shown Kay not too long ago, but walked past it with purpose, wanting to avoid the bad memories that rose up inside him. The mild evening air was so much different than the last time he was here. He took comfort in it as he walked along the shore and sat on top of an aging picnic table.

Perfect.

His gaze drifted out onto the lake, so small that he supposed it was really more of a pond than anything else. He remembered his grandfather telling him about this place when he learned that Fox was going to be sent here.

Damn his father. Who did he think he was shipping his own son off like this? His whole family was definitely fucked up. They thought _he_ was crazy? He wasn't the one who wanted to sleep with his sister! And yet Chad could do no wrong in their father's eyes. He didn't understand people sometimes. Whitney gave his baby up for adoption without his permission and he didn't have a right to be upset about it? It made no sense. None of this made any sense. What was he _doing _here?

"Fox?" A voice pulled him out of his contemplation. He cocked his head slightly to see Kay standing off to the side. He focused his eyes back on the water, unable to look at her.

"What do you want?" he asked miserably.

She hesitated. "May I join you?"

Fox narrowed his eyebrows in confusion, still unwilling to look at her. Why would she want to speak with him, let alone sit with him after everything that had happened between them? "Be my guest."

Kay slowly climbed on top of the picnic table, deliberately making sure to keep a fair amount of space between them. They sat in silence for a few moments before she finally spoke.

"What are you doing out here?"

"I came out here to be alone," he said harshly; more harsh than he'd intended. He turned to look at her. "What are you doing? How did you even get out here anyway?"

She smiled. "I followed you. I've been waiting two days to talk to you. I couldn't just let this opportunity slip away."

Fox straightened, caught off guard by her words. "You've been waiting to talk to me?"

"Of course I have. I've been bored out of my mind for two days straight. I miss spending time with you."

"You do?" he asked, unable to believe what he was hearing.

"Yes…" she trailed off, a blush creeping up her neck and across her cheeks. Fox studied her carefully, entranced by the way the fading sunlight seemed to make her glow. The orange light made her appear healthy and radiant, as if she hadn't been indoors for days. Auburn highlights danced along her tresses, captivating him in a way he didn't think possible. She was definitely beautiful. More beautiful than he deserved. He tore his gaze away.

"I don't understand. How can you want to be friends with me after-"

"It doesn't matter anymore," she cut him off. "I told you I understood. Things got out of control, but nothing happened. I was upset at first… I admit that. But I know you would never hurt me. Please don't beat yourself up about it."

There was a moment of silence before Fox finally responded. "You're amazing, you know that?"

Kay smiled. "Yeah, I know."

"Not very modest though," he continued, unable to fight off his growing laughter.

"So I've been told," she agreed, letting out a content sigh as she too stared out over the water. "Just promise me one thing?"

"Anything."

"Let's never talk about this again. Just forget about it."

Fox paused, trying to understand where she was coming from. "I don't think I can ever forget-"

"I know," she said with an impatient wave of her hand. "Me neither. Just promise me you'll try?"

"All right… I'll try."

"Good," she smiled. "That's good."

They sat in silence, enjoying the sunset until it finally disappeared from sight. Fox made a show of stretching out his long legs before he fell back against the top of the table. He closed his eyes, glad that he and Kay were back on the same page with regard to their friendship. A smile crossed his lips as he felt her shift her weight and lie down beside him.

"So who told you about this place anyway?" she asked.

"My grandfather."

"Alistair Crane?"

"That is my grandfather, isn't it?"

"Unfortunately for you," she laughed, not seeming to mind that with any other person her words would be considered an insult. "Why did he let you in on the secret?"

Fox sighed. "I'm not sure, to be honest. Maybe because I'm a Crane? Maybe because he thinks that name should still mean something to people? I suppose he thought I should have a little extra information during my stay. Something that might help me out in a jam, you know?"

"I guess that makes sense," she said slowly. "This fresh air is exactly what we both needed to keep us going. No doubt it was constructed for Tobias Crane or his secret lady love, whoever she might have been."

Fox didn't fail to note the wistful tone in her voice, and he knew she was referring to the heart they'd found carved on that tree. He smiled at the thought. Was Kay Bennett a romantic at heart? "Perhaps. Or maybe it's just an abandoned part of the grounds. Maybe this lake was used to dispose of unwanted bodies? Or mutilated babies?"

"Yuck! If I were you Nicholas _Foxworth, _I'd stop talking about dead bodies right now. You're giving me ideas that don't bode well for your state of being."

Fox chuckled. "Fair enough. I'm just making the point that not everything in this town comes from Crane money or influence you know. Perhaps my grandfather knowing about this place was simply a stroke of luck."

"Yes, and if that's the case then you might as well call me the Queen of Ireland."

"The Queen of Ireland?"

"It was the first place that popped into mind. I've always wanted to go there. Don't ruin the joke! Alistair Crane doesn't just have luck. He has money and power and evil minions to do his bidding. No doubt he has the blueprints to every building in Harmony."

Fox couldn't argue with that. He'd often wondered how his grandfather knew of the things that happened halfway across town before anyone else did. Kay was a very perceptive person. "You know, I can't even begin to count the number of times my grandfather let it slip that he knew something we didn't. All that power, being the head of the Crane empire… it's definitely corrupted him."

Kay thought over Fox's words carefully before responding. "Are you saying that he hasn't always been corrupted? That once upon a time, Alistair Crane was as nice a guy as you are?"

Fox swallowed hard, trying desperately to stomp down the sudden surge of pride that had appeared in his chest. Kay thought he was a nice guy. Even after what he'd done. He couldn't fathom why her opinion meant so much to him, but for some reason it did. It wasn't a reason he really wanted to understand, however, so he quickly filed away his thoughts for a later examination.

"I'm not saying he was ever a nice guy- not to me anyway. My sister on the other hand… well, he adored her. But with everyone else…" he trailed off.

"Yes?" Kay asked, urging him to continue.

"My grandfather had a saying. I remember him telling it to Ethan often, back when he thought he was a Crane, you know? Grandfather had been grooming him to take over the company since he was just a child. He wanted him to be just like he was, but Ethan… well, Ethan was too far too noble and far too perfect to ever be like Alistair. I think he knew it too. He would listen to grandfather's saying, but he'd never say anything afterwards, probably not to offend him."

Fox glanced over at Kay to find her staring at him. She was no doubt wondering why he'd suddenly turned into a blabbering idiot.

"I'm sorry. I'm rambling. I didn't mean to-"

"What was it?" she cut him off.

Fox blinked. "What was what?"

"Alistair's saying. What was it?"

"It was a nasty saying, something he must have picked up from his father. No doubt he was trying to mold Ethan's mind into something he could be proud of."

"Well?"

"Every morning- well, every morning I was at home anyway, Alistair would run into Ethan somewhere in the mansion. And each morning they met, whether it was in the kitchen, or the living room, or some random hallway, Alistair would always leave him with the same words: '_Remember Ethan, it matters not_ _if you show no mercy, for the sun still shines on the wicked.' _"

"That's a horrible saying!"

"Yes, it is. Ethan thought so too. He couldn't understand grandfather's way of thinking."

"I don't blame him," Kay agreed as she covered her mouth to hide a yawn.

"You're tired."

She shrugged. "I haven't been sleeping well."

"Neither have I."

"We should probably get back inside before they miss us. I'm supposed to be in my room before dinner. No doubt it's long since passed."

Fox quickly agreed that it was probably for the best. They both needed to get some sleep, despite the early hour. The sun had just gone down, but he was ready for bed, and he was sure that Kay was as well.

Once again they managed to slip past the lazy security guard without being detected.

"This is my stop," Fox smiled as he inclined his head to the door of his room.

"Oh."

"Will I see you in the game room tomorrow?" he asked. His heart was hammering so loudly against his ribcage that he was sure she'd be able to hear it.

She shook her head. "No. I have an extra long session with Dr. Adams tomorrow."

"I see. What about the day after? Will you be there then?"

Kay smiled, her eyes bright with anticipation. "I'm game if you are," she smiled, then giggled at her own pun.

"That was bad," Fox shook his head, opening the door to his room. He turned around just in time to see her backing down the hall.

"Have a good night," she called out to him. "Get some rest. I'll see you in a day."

* * *

Fox studied Kay, amused by her determination to finally beat him at chess. He loved the way her nose wrinkled when she realized she had no chance to win. Most of his opponents would have given up by now, but not Kay. She was as stubborn as he was. 

"Accept your defeat Bennett, there's no way you can worm your way out of this one. I've got you trapped."

"No," she said, shaking her head in defiance. "There has to be a way. Just give me a minute to think."

Fox inhaled a large breath of fresh air. He and Kay had taken to playing their games outside lately, and so far they hadn't been discovered. St. Anne's was almost bearable with access to the outdoors, he reasoned. And it was even better when he had someone to share it with.

His gaze drifted out onto the lake, his mind wandering back to the first night he'd taken Kay here. He still hadn't forgiven himself for his actions. She must have thought him a beast- some lust crazed, testosterone driven animal with no care for her feelings at all. What had come over him? He'd never acted like that with a woman before. It was all becoming too difficult to understand. When it came to Kay, he didn't know what to think. She certainly stirred up emotions inside him that he hadn't felt in a long time- emotions he couldn't begin to decipher.

"Checkmate!" she exclaimed suddenly, drawing his attention back to the board. She pulled his king from the playing surface and placed it on top of the picnic table. Fox frowned.

"You can't do that, my bishop was right here."

"Right where?" she asked, her tone as sweet and innocent as that of a child's.

"Right here," he said again, pointing to the empty square that had recently been occupied by his playing piece. She'd obviously taken advantage of the fact that he wasn't paying attention to the game. "You must have moved it, you little cheater."

Kay shot him a mischievous look. "Who, me?"

"Yes, you," he grinned. "Unless he got up and walked away by himself?"

"That must have been it then," she stammered, trying desperately to suppress the growing fit of giggles that threatened to escape.

Fox gave her a knowing look. "I see. Well that's it then, I guess you beat me fair and square. Congratulations, I didn't think you had it in you."

"You clearly underestimated my cunning and intelligence."

"Clearly."

"So what do I win? It's not everyday someone brings down the mighty Fox Crane at his own game. I think I deserve a prize."

"Oh? And what kind of prize do you think you deserve?"

She smiled. "Well, I don't want money, or gold."

"No gold?"

"Nope. And I don't want jewels or cars, or anything fancy like that."

"I see. So what do you want?" he asked, his body leaning over the table instinctively. He was surprised when she met him halfway.

"I think you know." Her voice was scarce more than a whisper, but he heard it clear as day in their secluded location. He knew it was wrong. He'd told himself over and over that he'd never touch her that way again. And yet here he was, moments away from kissing her. Well fuck his damn promises, and fuck anyone who tried to stand in his way. He wanted her, and she obviously wanted him.

And when it came to Fox Crane, there was nothing that stood in the way of the things he wanted.

"Kay Bennett!" a shriek of outrage came from across the shore. Kay jumped in surprise, pulling away from Fox. He glanced angrily at the tiny nurse racing toward them. She was flocked on both sides by two large orderlies.

"Don't worry," he said in what he hoped was a calm voice, "everything will be fine. I'll talk it over with the nurse, smooth things out. You have nothing to worry about."

She shook her head quickly, wide eyed from the shock of being caught. "No, no, you don't understand! This is the worse thing that could have possibly happened."

"What do you mean?" he asked, grabbing her hand and squeezing it tight.

She looked him directly in the eyes. "You don't understand."

"You said that already. What don't I understand? Tell me why you're so afraid."

Her arm was seized violently before she could respond, however, and Fox was on his feet before he even knew what was happening. The nurse dragged Kay from the picnic table and began pulling her away. She glanced over her shoulder, her eyes begging him for help, for reassurance that everything would turn out all right.

"Let go of her," he growled. He made a move to stop the nurse, but was immediately blocked off by the orderlies.

"Escort Mr. Crane back to his room once we're inside," the nurse ordered. She released her grip on Kay and shoved her forward. Fox felt his blood boil as he watched the two women make their way into the trees and out of sight. This was unacceptable! No one dared to treat him with such disrespect. It was unheard of! And Kay… the memory of her frightened face when that witch sunk her nails into her arm and yanked her away… it was inexcusable. He'd have that woman's head for treating her like that.

"Please come with us," one of the orderlies instructed. Fox gave the man a piercing look, standing up to his full height so he could look down at him.

"If you _ever _give me another order, I will have you fired so fast your head will spin." He whirled around to face the other orderly. "The same thing goes for you too Lurch. Do you have any idea who I am? Who my Grandfather is?"

Both men gulped audibly, and Fox felt a jolt of satisfaction run through him. "I thought so."

"Please, Mr. Crane, we have orders that you must-"

"I _must _do nothing. I'll go back to room, if only to respect the authority of this hospital in front of the other patients. But make no mistake, gentlemen, your authority means nothing when it comes to me and my family."

Fox gave both men a harsh stare before turning around and heading back inside. His quick scan of the floor revealed nothing about Kay's whereabouts. She must be locked inside her room. No doubt that stupid nurse thought she could confine her there for the rest of her stay.

Well, there was no way that Fox was going to let that happen.

"Mr. Crane! What's going on?" Virginia asked when he stormed into his room, slamming the door behind him. "Why are you so angry?"

"Get out," he ordered. He was in no mood to explain himself to anyone.

"But you're-"

"Virginia, my temper has a short fuse today. Do _not _make me repeat myself."

"Yes Mr. Crane," she acknowledged, well aware of just how insufferable Fox could be when he was angry. She quickly gathered up her cleaning supplies and scurried from the room.

Fox sighed. He flopped down on his bed, breathing heavily as he tried to make himself comfortable. What did Kay mean when she said that this was the worst thing that could have possibly happened? Surely things could always be worse. Unless she knew something that he didn't…

Against his will, visions of Kay being mistreated invaded his mind. They wouldn't lock her up again, would they? She'd told him how hard her first week had been, kept prisoner in her room with no one to keep her company and nothing to keep her entertained. He admired her bravery and stamina for making it through that; he was sure he would have gone mad.

But she'd also been here before… it pained him to remember the scars on her wrists, the way they'd felt so jagged and rough beneath his fingers. He'd wanted desperately to make them disappear. What had driven her to such extremes? Why wouldn't she tell him the reason she was sent here for a second stay? Had she done something else to herself? Something just as horrible? His mind raced with unpleasant possibilities. Perhaps it was something she'd done to someone else. But who? And why?

He shook his head, his stomach sick with worry. Suddenly his problems didn't seem so important. At least Miles was safe. Chad may be a freak, but he loved that baby and would never do anything to harm him. And Whitney… well, maybe she had a good reason for doing what she did. He'd never even tried to see things from her perspective. How could he? Giving away your own child without even consulting its father? It was unthinkable.

And yet Fox found himself contemplating her reasoning. She was keeping a secret, that much was obvious. He didn't know what it was, but it was clear that it was big. Would she ever tell him if he asked? He hadn't even given her a chance to explain. Every time they were in the same room together lately, all he did was scream and shout. No wonder she was afraid to tell him the truth, or tell anyone the truth for that matter. If everyone was judging him the way he was judging Whitney, he didn't think he'd be able to fess up either.

God, why was life so fucked up? He'd been too preoccupied with his own hurt to even spare a thought for Whitney's feelings. Or even Chad's for that matter. It couldn't have been easy for him to learn that the woman he loved was actually his own sister. It was downright troubling, really. No wonder Chad snatched up Miles while he had the chance; he was desperate to hang on to the last thread that connected him to Whitney as anything more than her brother. When he got out of here, he and Whitney were going to have a talk. He would be patient and understanding, and hopefully she'd finally tell him he truth.

But until then, he needed to concentrate on Kay. First thing tomorrow he'd find out what they'd done with her, and what was going to happen. This was all his fault. Why did he have to show her that stupid lake? Why did he have to enjoy spending so much time with her? And why the hell did he care so much about what might happen between them?

Fox grimaced as he rubbed his temple, trying to rid himself of the headache that was now pounding through his skull. He fell into a restless, uneasy sleep. Dreams of Kay being thrown into the lake and drowning assaulted him, and he woke with a start when he realized that he was the one who'd pushed her in.

It was late evening. He'd slept through dinner. His stomach grumbled painfully for food, but he pushed the thought away and forced himself into the hall. Quickly he searched the floor for Kay, but was unable to find any trace of her. The door to her room was locked, orderlies posted outside. This was not good.

Fox waited impatiently for the next three days to see Kay. He'd sat in the game room every morning and waited for her to show up. When she never came, he made inquiries to the nurses, as well as to Dr. Adams. Both told him that they couldn't discuss the current state of other patients, and that Kay's progress was none of his business.

He didn't know what to do. Never in his life had he felt so utterly powerless. He'd promised Kay that everything would be all right, that he'd be able to fix whatever trouble she'd gotten into on account of his careless actions. But he couldn't. He hadn't the resources or the influence. And now he lay awake in the wee hours of the morning, staring at the blackened ceiling above him. He couldn't sleep- hadn't been able to since she'd been taken.

A clicking sound caught his attention. His heart began to race as he watched a figure hurry inside the room.

"How do you lock this thing?" it whispered, fumbling with the doorknob. Fox felt his heart stop.

"Kay?"

She turned to look at him, moonlight illuminating the features of her face so he was able to see her clearly. She smiled. "Yes. I had to see you before-"

"Thank God you're all right!" he exclaimed, rushing over and pulling her into a tight embrace. "I didn't know what happened to you, they wouldn't tell me anything. I'm so sorry… I had no idea how much trouble you'd get into if we were caught."

"It's fine. Fox, listen-"

"No, it's not fine, it's all my fault." He loosened his hold on her reluctantly, his hands cupping her face and forcing her to look up at him. "I was worried about you."

Her breath caught. "You were?"

"Of course. I felt so guilty about everything."

"Oh. Right," she nodded, slowly averting her eyes. She moved away from him and back towards the door. "I can't get this thing to lock. It's too dark."

Fox made his way next to her. "Let me," he said, clicking the lock into place as she moved away.

"This room is amazing," she whispered, examining the contents surrounding her. "This bookcase takes up more space than my bed."

"How did you get here?" he asked her. "How'd you manage to get away from the orderlies guarding your room?"

"That's why I came. I wanted to tell you-"

"No, it doesn't even matter," he smiled, waving his hand as he interrupted her. "I'm just glad you're here."

His heart raced as he saw her take a seat on the bed. When she didn't say anything in response, he went and sat next to her. Why wasn't she looking at him? Had he said something to offend her? His fingers tapped against the mattress anxiously, unsure of what to say. Finally she turned to look at him.

"When I first learned that I was being sent here, I didn't think I'd be able to make it through," she began. "You have no idea what it was like for me the first time around. I was so alone, so scared… so lost. I was so sure that I'd die in here. But I didn't. I made it through somehow, and I vowed that I would never give anyone a reason to send me back."

She shook her head, obviously struggling to find the right words. Fox waited patiently for her to continue.

"Tabitha told me I wouldn't have to stay. She said it was just a precaution, but she lied. I don't know why I even believed her, but I did. The next thing I knew, I was back living at St. Anne's. They locked me up in that stupid room and it was almost more than I could bear. Being away from Maria, not having anywhere to go or anyone to see… it was too hard. I'd almost given up until that day in the game room. I was so happy to be free, you know? Just to be out of my room for a change. It was a nice feeling. But I know now that it wouldn't have lasted.

And that's when you came into the picture. I couldn't believe it when I saw you. I thought for sure I was going crazy," she chuckled softly. "All that time we spent together, all those games we played… you really helped me Fox. Without you here, I don't know what would have happened… what I might have done. It sounds cliché, but you really pulled me through this. I needed you then, and I need you now."

"Kay…" he started, but trailed off. What was he supposed to say? How was he supposed to respond to her confession?

She placed her finger gently against his lips, a gesture for silence. He was slightly taken aback by the determination shining brightly in her eyes. "Don't say anything," she whispered. Though he couldn't see her face, he could feel her gaze on him, searing his skin and setting him on fire. "I need you Fox. I need to be with you…"

It was more than he could bear. Before he could stop himself, he pushed her hand away and kissed her hard, crushing her against the bed. Her breath was hot against his skin as he fumbled gracelessly with the ties to the back of her dressing gown.

"Fox," she breathed heavily in the darkness, running her hands over his back and yanking his shirt over his head.

This was it. This was what he wanted ever since the first day he'd seen her here. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks, and he felt himself losing any control he had left. She would be his tonight, and there was no one to prevent him from taking what he wanted- what he needed.

"Stop." Her voice splashed over him like a bucket of cold water. He broke contact and pulled his face away.

"What?" His tone was angry, his breathing ragged even to his own ears. "Why?"

"Because I asked you to."

Disappointment ate away at his insides, his brain struggling to comprehend the idea that there would be no release this night. She didn't want it. She didn't want him.

But he couldn't force himself to pull away from her. He had to know. "I thought you wanted-"

"I do," she said simply.

His brain was spinning. "Then why-"

"I just needed to know that you would stop if I asked you to. And you did."

Fox didn't know what so say, so he said nothing. His mind was foggy with want, his body barely able to control itself in her presence. The anger that had overwhelmed him moments earlier melted away. Kay was here, in his bed, at his mercy. He felt himself driven by his desire, taking from her what he needed, and yet making sure that she was pleasured as well.

Later on, when they were both finally sated, Fox found himself drifting off into a most welcome sleep. He held Kay tight in his arms, unwilling to release her for fear that she might be caught and punished again.

"What are you thinking?" she asked quietly.

"That I can't remember the last time I've ever been this satisfied."

"Neither can I. This is exactly what I needed," she yawned, burying her face against his arm.

"What was it you were going to tell me earlier? The reason you came to see me?"

There was a long pause before she finally answered. "It's nothing important. I just needed to be with you."

Fox smiled, inhaling the scent of her hair. He was glad that Kay had risked being caught just to be with him. It gave him a surge of pride that he didn't quite understand, though he was deliriously happy to have it. Sleep tugged at him relentlessly. He wasn't lying when he told her that he couldn't remember the last time he'd ever felt this happy, this satisfied. Distantly he knew that this was wrong for some reason, that they might get caught if she stayed here. But by whom he couldn't think, and for what reason he couldn't remember. All he knew was that it just felt so right….

* * *

Fox awoke late the next morning to find himself alone in bed. Did last night really happen? Or was it just some elaborate fantasy his mind had dreamed up to help him relax? Memories of Kay and the time they shared together quickly erased his doubts. There was no way it was a dream. She must have left sometime in the night so that they wouldn't get caught together. 

He groaned happily as he stretched his legs and hopped out of bed. Once dressed, he hastily brushed his hair and tried to make himself look presentable. He needed to find Kay and tell her just how much he loved spending time with her, how much last night had meant to him. He was pretty sure she had no idea just how much he'd needed the gift she'd given him. Quickly he strode from the room, whistling merrily as he made his way down the hall and across the floor.

When he finally arrived, he was surprised to find the door wide open, no orderlies in sight. Curious, he stepped inside. A young nurse was humming to herself as she cleaned the room.

"Where's Kay?"

"Oh!" she exclaimed, jumping around to face him. "You frightened me."

"Sorry. Do you know where Kay Bennett is? The girl whose room this is? I didn't see her anywhere on my way over."

The nurse gave him a peculiar look, as if he was missing something incredibly obvious.

"Well?" he prodded. "Where is she?"

"Discharged," she replied simply, returning to the bed and stripping the sheets off.

Fox felt his heart drop into his stomach. He staggered backward as if someone had shoved him. Discharged. She was gone. His mind whirled about, trying to understand how this was possible.

So that's what she was trying to tell him when she came to his room last night. That's why she wanted to see him- to say goodbye. He felt sick. Somehow he managed to stumble back to his room, locking the door behind him. He collapsed onto the bed, unsure of how much longer his wobbly legs would have supported him.

No wonder she was able to sneak out so easily. Why bother guarding someone who's about to be released? He sat in shock, unsure of how to feel or what to think. He didn't understand why Kay would let him find out this way. After all the time they'd spent together, everything they'd shared between them… and now she was gone.

Fox felt like a fool. His grandfather, and his father for that matter, had always told him never to let a woman into his heart. He should have listened. Kay knew things about him now that no one else did; his thoughts, his feelings, his experiences. It wasn't fair.

First Whitney, and now Kay. He stayed in his room for the rest of the day, vowing inwardly that he would never let another woman hurt him again.

* * *

_Three Months Later…_

Fox grunted inelegantly as he rolled off of his bedmate and onto his back. His breathing was rough and uneven, his body extremely unsatisfied. It was never enough these days. No matter how hard he tried or what extremes he went to, there was nothing he could do to make himself feel truly content. Something inside of him felt hollow, but he refused to examine it more thoroughly. He was afraid of what he might find.

Next to him, Karla pressed herself against his back and began tracing her fingers gently along his arm. "That was amazing," she purred. "I've never had anything like it. Why did we wait so long to try this?"

Fox grabbed her hand and shoved her away. "Get out."

"What?"

"I said get out. What part of that don't you understand?"

She shook her head, bewildered. "Why?"

"Because I want to be alone, that's why! Get the fuck out of here before I have Crane security haul your ass out!"

Karla stepped out of the bed and dressed herself as quickly as she could. Fox hadn't even bothered to turn around and look at her. "You asshole! What the hell is wrong with you? Just because you're a Crane doesn't mean you can treat people like garbage. You're not as high and mighty as you think you are."

He smirked. "So I've been told. Be sure to take the back stairs. I don't anyone knowing you were here."

She shot him a dirty look as she buttoned up her long coat and grabbed her purse from a nearby chair. "Jerk. Don't ever call me again."

"Don't worry, I wasn't planning on it." His words were cut off by the sound of the door slamming shut. Certain that he was finally rid of her, Fox turned onto his back and stared up at the ancient crown molding that surrounded his ceiling.

What was the matter with him? He'd never disrespected as many women as he had in these past few months, using them for their bodies and then getting angry once he found that they were never enough. Why did he keep doing this to them? Why did he keep doing this to himself?

_You know why, _the tiny, annoying voice in the back of his mind taunted him. Fox scowled at the thought. No, he refused to think about it. If anything should be blamed as the cause for his crumbling life, its name was Whitney Russell. His stomach twisted painfully just to think about it.

Miles. The son that never was. He'd confronted her when he finally had the chance, demanding to know the truth once and for all. His well thought out plan for a nice long chat had flown out the window with any sanity he'd once possessed, and he was surprised by some of the thoughts that came into his head. He wanted to hurt her. He wanted to make her pay for causing him so much heartache, so many months of questioning his own character.

That bitch. She was the reason he was acting this way. It was _her _fault that all of this had happened. He vowed to make her pay for the way she treated him. One of these days she'd get what was coming to her- he'd make sure of that.

"Damn you Whitney. How could you do this to me? I loved you," his whisper echoed in the darkness, unanswered just like all the other questions he had. He forced himself to close his eyes, willing sleep to take him away. It never came.

_Why do you keep denying it? _the voice hounded him. _You'll never be happy until you know the truth. Whitney isn't what's really bothering you. Stop hiding. Grow up and face it like a man. She left you. She didn't trust you enough to tell you the truth. There was never anything special between you; it was all in your head._

Kay. His heart ached horribly every time he thought about her. He tried to force her from his mind, tried to forget everything they shared. But he just couldn't do it. He'd never realized how much she'd saved him until he'd been released.

No matter what he said or did, the real truth was that Fox Crane didn't need much to get by. For years he lived off of luck, surviving on his instincts, not his trustfund. True, he liked to put on a good show of demanding this and that from the servants, but in reality, he didn't need anything they gave him. He didn't need a lot. But he needed her.

He sat up, weary of the direction his thoughts were heading. Pulling on a pair of jeans and a sweater from his closet, Fox bundled up and left his room. He headed down the stairs and made a beeline for the front door. A walk would do him good, he decided. Fresh air always made him feel better.

"Where are you headed off to?"

Fox looked over to see Ethan sitting on the couch, paperwork littering the large table in front of him. "I'm going for a walk."

Ethan frowned, checking his watch. "Why so late? It's already after ten."

"I need to clear my head," he replied, making his way into the living room. "What about you? Shouldn't you be upstairs with Gwen instead of down here doing your homework?"

"It's not homework Fox," he chuckled. "And as a matter of fact, this is all _for _Gwen."

"Really? What is it?"

Ethan hesitated. "It's court papers. We're going to try for full custody of Jane."

"What? You can't do that, Theresa loves that kid!"

"I know that Fox… we just think it best that-"

"No, what you mean to say is that _Gwen _thinks it's best."

There was a long moment of silence between them, and Fox didn't need a verbal confirmation from his half brother to know that what he'd spoken was the truth. "Get a grip Ethan. Life's too short to waste your time on meaningless squabbles like this. It's not right to take away a person that someone loves. It's not right for them to disguise their true feelings and hide away, hoping that things are going to work themselves out. It doesn't happen like that. We have to _make _them happen, don't you see?"

"What are we talking about here Fox… Jane and Theresa? Theresa and… me? Or is this something more? Something else?"

When he got no reply, Ethan pressed on.

"Did something happen to you? You've been really distant these last couple of months- since you returned from your stay, that is."

Fox smiled at Ethan's terminology. No one had been willing to discuss his time at St. Anne's, and he wasn't about to start opening up now. "Forget it. I need to get out of here. Do what you want, I have enough problems to deal with."

He turned around and left the living room, exiting the mansion through the front door. The night air was unseasonably warm, and large snowflakes fell lightly from the sky. With no clear destination in mind, Fox let his feet take control. Before he knew it, he'd spent over twenty minutes walking the grounds and even more time wandering the streets of Harmony. He halted to a stop in front of the Book Café. The lights were on and business was booming. It took him a moment to remember that Christmas hours were still in effect.

His body had suddenly gone numb. Cold shivers ran along his skin, giving him goose bumps. Without thinking, he trudged inside and navigated his way through the crowd toward the counter.

"Just give me the biggest hot chocolate you have," he instructed the cashier, handing over his money in a hurry. Once she'd given him his change, he waited impatiently for her to make his order. He stood with his back against the counter, looking around the room to keep his mind occupied.

And that's when he saw them. She was _here, _less than twenty feet away!But she wasn't alone. Nestled in one of the far corners of the Café, Kay sat happily, bouncing her daughter Maria up and down on her lap. Beside her was a dark haired man that Fox could only assume was the infamous Miguel he'd heard so much about.

His breathing grew shallow and he felt his heart begin to race. This was the first time he'd seen her since that night. This was the first time he'd even been in town since he'd gotten back, he realized with a start. _She looks so happy and normal, _he thought. _Almost as if all that time we spent together never even happened. _His gaze was locked. He couldn't tear his eyes away.

He watched, frozen with horror at the scene before him. She'd moved on without him, while he stayed locked up in the mansion, pining for something he could never have. She'd stopped bouncing her daughter abruptly, her body becoming eerily still. Her face turned sharply toward him, eyes widening with shock as she became aware of his presence. It was almost as if she'd sensed him watching her.

Their eyes met, and in that instant, he knew. He wasn't sure how… he just _knew. _She hadn't forgotten him. She hadn't forgotten what they'd shared, and what it meant. He could see it in her eyes. Those rich, warm pools of hazel would be seared into his memory for as long as he lived.

A calming sense of warmth seemed to surround him, and he knew from the expression on her face that they had suddenly come to a mutual understanding. They were in the real world now. Things couldn't be like they were back inside St. Anne's. But she hadn't forgotten. Their time together had meant something to her too, and she wanted him to know that those memories would always be there; secret and wonderful, but _alive_. She wouldn't let them die and become forgotten, just as he wouldn't

In a place that was designed to break spirits, Fox found it amazing to realize that it had actually strengthened his. And now he knew that it had been the same way for Kay as well.

"Your hot chocolate, sir," the girl behind the counter tapped his shoulder lightly. He turned to face her, unable to hide the growing smile on his face.

"Thank you," he said. He lifted the warm cardboard cup into his hand and headed outside. The world had suddenly become a brighter place. He smiled once again, letting his feet lead the way back home.

* * *

_Please review and tell me what you think:)_


	3. Epilogue

The sky was gray and cloudy, a storm threatening its way across the ocean and toward the town of Harmony. Fox Crane stared out at the water, watching intently as the rolling waves came crashing onto the rocky shore below. He sighed, leaning against the rough wooden railing that ran along the edge of the wharf.

It had been over six months since he'd last seen her in the Book Café and accepted the fact that she'd moved on. The truth had hurt him deeply, but he understood that things could never be the same. Part of him screamed that he didn't want to be with her if it was going to be different anyway. Another part told him to suck it up and get on with his life. But it was the curiosity that always got the best of him. What if they'd just given it a shot? Why had he given up so easily? Would things really be so changed?

His mind wandered, following the same path it had become stuck on long ago.

Tiny droplets of water fell lightly from the sky, and thunder boomed overhead. Not far away Kay Bennett jumped, caught off guard by the deep rumble. She rushed along the wharf, hoping to make it back home before she managed to get herself caught in a downpour. Her family hadn't been pleased when she said she needed to run out and get herself some ice cream. Again. It was the same excuse she used every time. Instead, she wandered the streets of Harmony, thinking about things that she knew she should just forget. Things that were in the past. Things she knew she couldn't change.

She'd been startled to see him in the Book Café all those months ago. He'd looked haggard and disheveled, completely unlike the graceful and always well groomed Fox Crane that she'd come to know. It firghtened her. But she knew what he was going through. Her heart broke into a thousand pieces every time she thought of the way she left him at St. Anne's all alone. She'd sought him out with the intention of telling him that she was being discharged. But then they'd made love, and she knew in her heart that she couldn't ruin the happiness they were both feeling at that moment.

It was cowardly, she'd accepted that, but there was nothing to be done about it now. And so she scurried along quickly, trying her best not to slip on the dampening wood beneath her feet.

The sound of running footsteps caught his attention, and Fox turned his head, curious to see who else was crazy enough to be out in weather like this. He stood straight up at the sight of her rushing toward him, his heart suddenly lodged in his throat. He knew the moment she realized he was there. She came to a dead stop, her eyes widening with shock and surprise. A small gasp escaped from between her lips before she clamped them shut and tried to regain her composure.

The rain began to fall harder.

"Fox…"

"Kay."

"What… what are you doing out here?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

She smiled uncertainly. "I just needed some fresh air. I was on my way home, hoping to beat the rain, but…"

"Not so lucky," he mused.

"No," she shook her head. "Not lucky at all."

There was a moment of awkward silence as Kay moved next to the railing and stood beside Fox. Her heart raced as she gazed out across the turbulent ocean. He followed suit, and together they stood to watch the churning of the waves, unmoved by the light water droplets that beat upon them without mercy.

"I saw you at the Book Café awhile back," she said hesitantly, forcing herself not to look at him.

"I saw you as well. You seemed… happy."

Kay let out a frustrated sigh. Had she really seemed happy to him? Because the truth was that she'd been miserable. The show she put on was for her family. It was for Miguel and Maria, and anyone else who'd been worried about her. "Oh," was all she could muster in response.

Fox continued. "It's all right really. I was… pleased to see that you'd recovered from whatever it was that lead to your time at St. Anne's. I know how much you hated it there. We both did."

Kay shuddered involuntarily at the thought if that horrid hospital. They hadn't fixed her problem or helped her control it. That place had done nothing but cause her pain and anguish; worry over not being able to be there for her daughter.

"I had my father fire that nurse who assaulted you, you know."

"What?" Kay stood straighter, caught off guard by Fox's abrupt confession. He turned to look at her and found her wide brown eyes already staring up at him.

"Don't you remember? That nurse who shoved you?"

She gave him a blank stare, too shocked to reply.

"It wasn't hard. Unprofessional conduct and all that. The way she just _grabbed _you, and dragged you away… I mean, what kind of person does that, huh? Anyway, I just thought you'd like to know."

Kay shook her head and tried to clear away some of the fog that was floating around her brain. "You had her _fired_?"

Fox narrowed his eyes. "Yes, that's what I said, isn't it? I can't believe you don't remember."

"Of course I remember," she said defensively. "I'm not stupid you know."

"I wasn't implying that you were. But you're welcome."

"You're welcome? For what?"

"Aren't you listening Bennett? For canning that old biddy who treated you like garbage, that's what. Now aren't you going to thank me?"

"Thank you?" she scoffed. "I never asked you to fire her!"

Fox looked at her incredulously. She couldn't seriously be angry with him. After all the trouble he went through on her behalf? "You've got to be kidding me here. I did you a favor! You don't always have to ask for favors you know, sometimes when people care about you, they'll do things to help you out without waiting for you to ask them."

"Well I didn't need any _helping _out…" she trailed off. He hadn't just said… had he? Kay hesitated. She watched the way he squirmed under her watchful gaze, suddenly aware of the blunder he'd just made.

"Fine. Have it your way. I've got to go. Don't say I never did anything for you," he spat, obviously upset with himself. He prayed to whatever God was listening that she hadn't realized what he'd just revealed. But as he turned on his heel to leave, her voice called out to him and he knew he was caught.

"Fox! Wait."

He turned around slowly to face her and waited for it to come. He waited for her to walk over to him and laugh in his face, tell him what an idiot he was for thinking about her, day and night, every second he was conscious and every second he wasn't. Terror froze his heart, and he wondered later how long it had stopped beating completely.

But she didn't move. She stood rooted a few feet away, her features quickly becoming a hazy blur from the rain that fell between them. He found it terribly hard to tell what she was thinking, and every second that passed by felt like an eternity. A sudden sinking feeling washed over him then. This was it. This was his moment of truth. A scene he would look back on in later years and remember every detail of. But whether it would be with fondness or disdain he couldn't say. The only thing left to do was wait.

"Fox, did you just tell me… What I mean is, did you just say… that you care about me?"

He felt defeated. "What do you think Bennett."

"I think maybe you did." When he didn't respond, she pressed on, taking a step toward him. "You only do favors for people you care about. And you did one for me."

"Is that really so hard to believe? Yes I care about you. Dammit Kay, I care about you more than I've ever cared for _any _other woman. I felt as though I understood you, as though I've known you my entire life. I can say that I despise St. Anne's with a passion, and it would be the truth. But I can't say that it never gave me anything; that it never made me happy, because it did. God, this sounds so cheesy but I just can't help it. Do you have any idea what I would give to go back there?"

He rushed toward her, caught up in the moment and grabbed her arms tightly with his hands. "Can you honestly say that you're blind to what we experienced? That you don't feel anything for me? The night we spent together… it was a night that I will never forget. It's a night that has haunted me in my dreams for fuck's sake! And no matter what I do I can't escape it. No matter where I go, or who I'm with all I can think of is you. All I can _ever _think of is you."

He shook his head and angrily pushed her away. She stumbled slightly, but quickly regained her footing. "Fox-"

"No, you don't get to talk right now. You're going to listen to what I have to say. That night… it was magic. It was heaven. It was more than a good man ever deserves, and hell I'm not even that good, so Lord only knows what I ever did to receive such an amazing gift. You have to understand what that means to me… I've never had anything like this to call my own. I've never had one of those moments that just changes your life in an instant."

"I do understand! Please, you have to trust-"

"And then you went and ruined _everything._"

Kay froze. Grief and guilt choked her to the core. She knew this moment had been coming. She'd prepared herself to face it if and when she ever saw him again. But no preparation in the world could have readied her for the fierceness of his words. Feelings of desperation surged her into action. She had to make him understand! "It wasn't like that! Please, just let me explain."

"Explain?" he sneered. "You ended it. You took away from me the most amazing feeling I've _ever _felt and you just fucking stomped all over it like it was a piece of garbage. I mean, what kind of person _does _that? How could you just leave me in there alone? You told me that without me you would have gone crazy. How do you think I felt when you abandoned me, huh? Did you ever stop to consider that maybe I felt the same way too?"

"Of course I did," she pleaded. "I wanted to tell you! Why do you think I even went to your room that night? I was going to explain everything, how I had passed all of Dr Adam's psychiatric tests and how I was going to be discharged the next day."

"Then why the hell didn't you? Why did you just leave without one word? Without even saying goodbye?"

This was all too much. Kay felt the burning in her eyes and covered her face with her hands as the tears spilled down her cheeks. She shook her head in panicked frustration, desperate to get him to understand the truth. "I couldn't do it. I didn't want it to end. You asked me if I'm blind to what we experienced in there. Well I'm not, and it _hurts _that you would even say such a thing. Of course I felt the same way you did! The night I spent in your bed was the most beautiful thing I've ever experienced. There was no way in hell I was going to ruin it by telling you that I was leaving. It was a mistake, and I _know _that now."

Fox turned away from her, so she walked over and furiously grabbed hold of his arm. He spun around and yanked himself free of her grasp.

"It's my turn to talk now," she said. Raw emotion was evident on his face, and she wondered how many times in his life Fox Crane had ever been this vulnerable. His silver gray eyes burned like liquid fire, but she struggled on, determined to make him know her side of the story.

"I made a mistake," she continued. "I should have told you the truth. I shouldn't have kept it hidden from you. But you have to understand why I did it."

"Well I don't."

"Then shut up and listen. Ever since I first saw you that day in the game room, I knew something was going to happen. I didn't know what, but I just had a feeling. And I was right, wasn't I? Something did happen. Something amazing and wonderful." She paused. "I fell in love with you Fox. In the short time we've known each other, I fell completely head over heels in love with you. It sounds pathetic I know. Just a passing fancy some might say. But I know the truth. And that night as I was walking to your room…. God, this is going to sound crazy."

"Tell me," he pushed her, "I need to know."

"All right. I had another feeling; an overwhelming feeling that what I was about to tell you would ruin things between us forever. I didn't want it to end up that way, and as loony as this may sound, I just… I knew it would. So I kept it to myself. I thought if I could just see you again, then I could explain. And I knew I would; see you again that is. That's why I couldn't say goodbye to you Fox. I could never say goodbye, because I know I'll always see you again."

"How could you possibly know that."

"Because it's the truth. Because I would rather die than live my life without your friendship."

Fox ran a hand through his tousled hair, now slick with water. He saw the feelings written across her face as well as if he'd taken a pen and put them there himself. She was being truthful. She hadn't told him because she didn't want to take away from their night together. Because she had a feeling. Because she really, truly loved him.

"I understand if you're still angry with me," her ragged whisper cut into his thoughts.

He waited a moment before answering. "I forgive you," he said simply. "And I don't want to talk about this anymore. Can we just agree to move forward and forget about these past few months? Maybe now we finally can."

Kay smiled, relieved beyond words to hear him say those things to her. "Agreed. I miss being happy. I miss having fun."

"You miss having fun? I've been locked in a mansion with Ethan and Gwen every day since I last saw you! I think I'm the one who deserves the fun," he chuckled.

"You've got a point there," she replied, happy that this whole situation was finally behind her. "But what now? Where do we go from here?"

Fox gave her a serious look. "I know a place where we can go."

"That's not what I meant-"

"I know. But for now… just follow me, okay?"

"All right," she agreed. She followed him off the wharf and through the streets of Harmony until they finally reached Raven Hill Road. But instead of heading toward the front gate and only entrance to the Crane grounds, he lead her along the side of the iron-barred fence. She followed in silence for the better part of ten minutes before curiosity finally got the better of her.

"Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise. Don't worry, we're almost there." He reached back and grabbed her hand, quickening his pace until they were both jogging alongside the fence. Kay glanced around to find that Fox had lead her to the eastern most tip of the Crane property, hidden behind the protective barrier of Harmony's wilderness. Giant trees and bushes surrounded them on both sides of the fence. Fox came to a stop.

"This is it," he declared.

"What's it?"

"This." He pulled aside some of the ivy that covered the fence to reveal a secret door leading onto the grounds. "After you," he grinned as he pushed it open, the hinges creaking wildly in protest.

Kay was in awe. She stepped inside and found herself looking at a large garden filled with weeds and trees that were just beginning to blossom. A large gazebo sat in the center, an empty moat dug around it. This place was clearly something that was once very special to someone. "Woah."

"Incredible isn't it? Apparently even Tobias Crane sometimes needed inspiration from others. He obviously discovered this place and used it as the basis for his secret getaway back at the hospital."

Kay walked through the garden slowly, taking care to see as many details as possible. The stone walkways were now cracked and broken, but they were still beautiful nonetheless. Weeds sprang upward almost every place she looked, but still they could not take away the beauty of this secret place.

"Imagine what it could look like if it was all fixed up!" she exclaimed, making her way across the tiny bridge that lead into the gazebo. She rested her palm against the rough wood. "A little paint here, a few flowers out there… it would be a shame to let it go to waste."

"My thoughts exactly." Fox smiled at her.

"And no one knows about it?"

"No one but me. I found it by accident awhile back when I was wandering around the grounds. Not even Alistair himself is aware that this garden exists. It's blocked off by trees and rough terrain on both sides."

Kay felt the thrill of adventure tingling through her body. She had a sudden flashback to St. Anne's, and her heart began to race. "This could be _our_ garden," she said suddenly. "Yours and mine. And no one else's."

Fox nodded vigorously. "Can't you just imagine? It will be the way it used to be. Before, I mean. When we were friends."

Kay couldn't help but feel a shard of disappointment at his words. He only wanted to be friends with her. But she would take what she could get, and quite frankly she wasn't really sure she was ready to jump into a serious relationship just yet. They both needed a little time to adjust.

"I think we've got ourselves a little project here Mr. Crane."

"Indeed we do Ms. Bennett. This is our place now. A secret we'll take to the grave."

"To the grave," she agreed ominously, and then broke into giggles.

Fox laughed as well. "Come on," he said. "We'd better get inside before we both catch our deaths." He walked back to the entrance and held the gate open for her. Kay stopped to take one last look around before joining him.

"Our place," she whispered with a smile. "And no one else's."

* * *

Across the grounds, at the very top of Raven Hill, Alistair Crane sat, dumbstruck by the proposition he'd just received. It wasn't often that he was caught off guard, but this was definitely one of those rare moments. And he was glad that no one but his present company was around to see it. "You must be joking."

"I can assure you Mr. Crane, that I do not jest."

"The plan is already underway then?"

"As we speak, Mr. Crane."

"And the woman?"

"Already taken care of sir."

"I see."

"There's only one thing left to do."

Alistair grimaced. He knew the conversation was going in this direction, and his brain was now working a mile a minute to detect any sort of last minute loophole that he might have missed. His counterpart slid a pen across the desk.

"The rest is up to you."

"Of course," he replied, picking up the pen and placing it against the paper in front of him. He felt himself beginning to sweat as he wrote, his nervousness suddenly getting the better of him. Quickly he ripped off the cheque and handed it to the man sitting across from him. It would not do for his associates to see him this way. Fear was the key to respect, after all.

The man smiled coldly. "You've made a wise decision here today Mr. Crane. My partners and I look forward to doing business with you."

Alistair watched as the man retrieved the pen and slipped it back into his suit, along with the ridiculously large amount of money that would soon be missing from the Crane Industries bank account.

Once he was alone, he poured himself a large glass of brandy and swallowed half in one gulp. For the first time in his life, Alistair Crane was scared.

* * *

_Dun dun dun, a cliff hanger ending! If you couldn't already tell, I'm planning a sequel to this story. I say planning because it still needs to be mapped out and stuff, but I'm hoping to start on it soon. :) I wanted to keep the St. Anne's storyline seperate from the upcoming stuff. It started out as a one shot and turned into this story from both P.O.V.'s, including this short epilogue which I really hope you guys liked. I wanted to write this since before Fox & Kay ever even met. It's taken awhile, but it's finally done, and now I am inspired to continue._

_Please please be a responsible reader and leave a review; I'll take anything, lol. I'd love to hear from all of you, your thoughts on the chapter and the story as a whole, or anything else. And thank you to those of you who already reviewed. I really appreciate it. :)_


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